have a saying that I like to use: “We are not here to pet bunnies.” It’s a bit silly on the surface, but it hits home once you understand the point. Whether you’re in the office tackling a tough project or in the dojo taking an unexpected punch, it’s a reminder that we didn’t show up for a gentle, risk-free experience. We’re here to learn, to grow, and to do the real work—sometimes that means things get a little rough.
I see it in martial arts class along with being on the giving and receiving end: someone accidentally takes a punch to the face, and their partner starts apologizing like they just did something horribly wrong. But that’s exactly the moment to say, “We’re not here to pet bunnies.” In other words, you knew this could happen, and it’s part of the process. You don’t want to actually hurt your partner, of course, but you’re not there for a casual stroll, either. You’re there to learn how to defend yourself, which means you’ll catch the occasional bruise. It’s not a sign you’re failing; it’s a sign you’re doing what you came to do.
The same principle applies at work. You might be in the middle of a demanding assignment, under pressure from all sides, and suddenly you find yourself thinking, “Wow, this is really hard.” Well…of course it is. You’re tackling something new or important—maybe both. If it were easy, you’d probably be bored. “We are not here to pet bunnies” is a playful way to remember that you signed up for a challenge. That’s where real progress happens.
Here’s the thing: most valuable lessons in life come with a certain amount of discomfort. It doesn’t mean you’re in the wrong place just because it’s tough or messy. In fact, it usually means you’re right where you need to be. Dancers get blisters, weightlifters pull muscles, martial artists get punched, and big projects get tough.
When the going gets rough, instead of backing off, take a breath and remind yourself why you’re there. If you’re engaged and learning, then you’re on the right track.
If it helps, keep this mental image in your back pocket: you walk into a work meeting or step onto the dojo mat, and somewhere in your mind, you say, “Alright, let’s go. We’re not here to pet bunnies.” Suddenly, your perspective shifts. You stop worrying about being comfortable and start focusing on the process—whether that’s learning good tai-sabaki (finding the safest place in a fight) or nailing a project deadline.
So the next time you’re faced with a challenge—something that feels a little out of your depth—remember that’s exactly where growth lives. Embrace the fact that you’re doing something that matters, and don’t be surprised if it stings here or there. After all, we’re not here to pet bunnies.
Note: If your actual job is running a petting zoo where people literally come to pet bunnies, feel free to swap out this phrase for something else—maybe “We’re not here to do easy stuff”—because, well, you kind of are there to pet bunnies.
